Sunday confessions, vol. 3

I guess Alyx isn’t doing her normal Sunday linkup today, but I’m still confessing.

I don’t like babies. I met my three-month-old niece for the first time this weekend, and she was cute and everything, but mostly I just felt awkward while I was holding her. I don’t want to sound like a dick but I’m just not good with babies, nor do I really have any desire to be. I’m always paranoid when I hold a baby that it’s going to throw out a really enthusiastic wiggle that will cause me to drop it on its head. Or that it will spit up on me. Or poop in its diaper. Yeah, I don’t like babies.

I’m terrible at small talk. Like when I run in to people I know from high school who I haven’t seen in a while, or when I see someone I’ve only met once for the second time. I’m so godamned awkward. And most people get more friendly and talkative when they drink, but drinking usually makes it even worse because then I’m more worried that I’m going to make an ass of myself or say something stupid. A lot of times I just ignore people instead of trying to force terribly awkward small talk, which is probably why a lot of people tell me that they thought I hated them the first few times we met. I don’t hate you, I’m just really, really bad at small talk.

I can’t do math in my head. I was actually really good at math when I took it in school–algebra just kind of came naturally to me, and there was even something I kind of enjoyed about working through complex equations in class. But when it comes to doing any kind of math in my head, I am fucking hopeless. I can’t add or subtract small numbers in my head without thinking about it way too hard, and Colin makes fun of me because I always struggle with calculating the tip at a restaurant. I think part of it is because I’m a really visual learner, so if I can’t actually SEE the numbers on paper they mean nothing to me.

I have a really short temper when it comes to dealing with my mother. I think I’m pretty even-tempered most of the time, but there is something about my mom that just exasperates me to no end. Actually, there are a lot of things about my mom that exasperate me to no end. She’s a dingbat. I mean, I love the woman to death, and I know that she has the best intentions, but I can’t have a SINGLE conversation with her without her a) telling me something that she’s already told me once or several times before, b) offering advice that I didn’t ask for about things I don’t need help with, or c) offering advice that she’s already offered once or several times before that I didn’t ask for about something I don’t need help with. I know that’s what mothers do, but it gets exhausting, and I’m not good at pretending that it doesn’t annoy me.

I love Titanic, and I’ll go see Titanic 3D by myself if I have to. I was supposed to go with my friend Bree but every time I plan to visit her in Athens something goes wrong. Caitlyn and Garik and I were going to go this weekend, but…then we didn’t. I have to see this movie. Titanic has been one of my favorite movies since I was eight, and I know that it kind of sucks but I DON’T EVEN CARE BECAUSE I LOVE IT. And since I really doubt that anyone I know in Indy is going to want to go see it with me, I will seriously go by myself if I have to. I’ll never let go, Jack. I’LL NEVER LET GO!

I have this poster. It says “Unsinkable Love.” I’m not joking. It’s not currently hanging up, but you better believe it’s going on the wall o’ weird shit in our stairway as soon as I decide to finally unpack the last box that I never unpacked when we moved.

If you like reading random shit about me, you might want to check out volumes 1 and 2 of Sunday confessions.

Also, did you notice my awesome new header that Erin made for me? DTC is moving up in the world, slowly but surely.